Hello. Dr. Jeffrey Smith here with you today, answering the question, “Why can’t I stop thinking about him?” or “Why can’t I stop loving him?”
"Why can't I stop thinking about him?" or "Why can't I stop loving him?" Well, the reality is that isn’t love. Love is faithful. Love hopes all things endure all things. It believes all things and it never fails. So the fact that you’re not with him right now means that it really wasn’t love. It was the idea of loving or being in love.
Is this idea, this story, is that I want to be with him, but it isn’t even really about him. It’s about bonding. It’s about connecting. It’s this desire that we have to bond with Mom, Dad, siblings, core family, friends, Higher Power, God. Then we have these intense interpersonal bonds and when they’re broken, it feels like there’s a piece of us that just fell out. Where is it? Where did it go? And we think that‘s him.
I can’t stop thinking about him. Well, him simply represents that piece that you think left you. Nothing left, you were actually fine before you ever met. That’s one of the things that always cracks me up about marriage counseling or sometimes even the painful process of parents who have lost a child. Is that person that lost a husband or a wife or the parent of that lost child?
They were actually ok with who they were before that spouse came into their life, or before he child came into their life. They were a whole person, so what happens? Will we create attachments and we actually transfer a part of ourself unknowingly in and unwise fashion to the other person. We give ourselves to the other person and then when they leave or when they die, it’s like they took a part of us with them, but that actually doesn’t really happen. That’s just what we’re telling ourselves up here. I’m whole complete and I lack for nothing, and that's also true for you but that's a story that you have to begin writing for yourself and making that your reality. That is so much my reality because I teach it every day. I say it to myself no less than a hundred times a day. I'm whole. I'm complete. I lack for nothing. There is nothing outside of me that is going to complete me. I'm already whole and complete.
So if you want to stop thinking about him, and you want to stop loving him, the way to do that is to love yourself. Everything comes back to that. We love ourselves through knowing that we're part of the Divine Creation, that we're on the planet for a specific reason, and every one of us are going through life’s lessons and they're for us. This is a great place to be. I'm glad to be a part of your life. I invite you to be a part of mine. Let's help you get out of this place. I can't stop loving you, hahaha. actually, I can and it's not that hard.
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