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Question: Your Relationship is in Trouble... What do I do? By Dr Jeffrey Smith

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Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 4:26:00 PM

Your Relationship is in Trouble... What do I do?   

Hello Dr. Jeffrey Smith here.  You're watching this video because the relationship is in trouble.

Answer is:

1  Ahhh!† Many relationships you've been in and out of...   

Ahhh!  Many relationships you've been in and out of.  This one, bang, bang, bang or backs turned toward each other and going in separate directions. 

2  I want to help you.†   

I want to help you.  Good news is I can help you!   Let's take advantage of the twenty-five years of information and experience that I can help get out of my head into yours, that we can integrate that into the heart, that you could have a heartfelt experience of oneness, a unity of togetherness, to take to your relationship to the next level.

3  You're going to need some coaching.   

You're going to need some coaching.   I'm happy to help provide that.  I really enjoy working with people who are

motivated and know that the time is now, to get themselves to where they haven't been able to up to now.  So give me a call, let's get going on this.

 

Thanks for watching.




Frequently Asked Questions Answered By The Team at Strategic Counseling

Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/5/2019 12:24:00 PM

What is EMDR & why do I use it?

Answer is:

1   What is EMDR & why do I use it?

EMDR is an acronym for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. EMDR is a method to treat people who have disturbing or traumatic memories. EMDR has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma, specifically for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Learn more about EMDR here.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated

Could Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) help me?

Answer is:

1   Could EMDR help me?

A growing body of evidence is showing that many psychological conditions, including depression, often start with a stressful or traumatic experience. We are finding that EMDR Therapy with a Certified EMDR therapist can help significantly with symptoms of PTSD, phobias, depression, anxiety, panic, early and complex adverse experiences in childhood, and much more.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 3:54:00 PM

How to Sleep Better at Night Naturally With

Hello, I'm Dr. Jeffrey Smith.  I'd like to answer the question of how to sleep better at night naturally.

Answer is:

1   Don't waste your time by...

Please don't waste your time by going and buying a new pillow, changing to sheets that wick away perspiration, even getting an expensive mattress, getting new blinds or even earplugs.  Those things can all help enslaved percentages, but truly you're not sleeping well at night because your mind won't let you. And if you actually tracked back in time and ask yourself when is the last time I did sleep well at night, is that a year ago, five years ago when you were a little kid, but there was a point most likely in your life when you did sleep well.


2   From that time forward....

From that time forward, there's been a lot of life events that have happened to you, and our brain stores every one of these events.  Some of them go into the trauma file. Those traumatic events that we've had tell us, subconsciously and unconsciously, that we live in an unsafe world.  So the reason you're not sleeping at night is because the massive part of our mind, our best consciousness researchers tell us, 95% of the mind is subconscious and/or unconscious.  That blows my mind every time I share that data. That's the part of the mind that's operating when we're sleeping. The conscious part of the mind it's off! The small 5% that says, you know, the day in and day out activities, your name, your data, what you do for a living, the conscious part the minds off when sleep.  That part of the mind is what tells you you're okay during the day, but at nighttime when that goes off, you're not okay, whether you remember your dreams or not.


3   If we could track them...

If we could track them, if we can monitor them, they would be trying to solve problems that you haven't been able to solve consciously.  That's the purpose of counseling.  That’s the answer to the question, “Why I'm not sleeping well naturally?” and these are the reasons that there are people, like myself, that want to help you resolve things.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 3:53:00 PM

Why Canít I Lose Weight Anymore?

Hello, I'm Dr. Jeffrey Smith.  I want to answer the question,  “Why can't I lose weight anymore?

Answer is:

1   Wow you've lost some weight but...

Wow you've lost some weight.  You've probably tried a bunch of different diets, but yet you've hit a plateau and there's and nothing else coming off.  So go into the gym more, doing those things that other people would tell you to do that have worked up to this point, hmm hit a plateau, it's stress! 


2   Your body when it's stressed

Your body when it's stressed will not burn any more fat as a matter of fact it will drive you to go eat more foods that are higher in fat because it believes that there's an earthquake coming of famine coming.  Think about the collective consciousness of humanity and anytime there's been a big problem in life.  It programs people to store up fats and energy for the future, and until you resolve why you're stressed you will not make any more progress.


3   The good news is...

The good news is, if you treat the stress, you'll be able to lose the weight!  Some programs that I've created and other therapists have created to help you be at peace and experience bliss throughout your day, you will bracket you through with the weight loss process! You will be able wear the clothes you want to wear, do the activities that you want to do and most and most importantly enjoy your life!






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 4:03:00 PM

Why Canít I Stop Loving Him?

Hello.  Dr. Jeffrey Smith here with you today, answering the question, “Why can’t I stop thinking about him?” or “Why can’t I stop loving him?” 

Answer is:

1   ďWhy canít I stop thinking about him?Ē or ďWhy canít I stop loving him?Ē

“Why can’t I stop thinking about him?” or “Why can’t I stop loving him?”  Well, the reality is that isn’t love.  Love is faithful.  Love hopes all things endure all things.  It believes all things and it never fails.  So the fact that you’re not with him right now means that it really wasn’t love.  It was the idea of loving or being in love.


2   Is this idea, this story...

Is this idea, this story, is that I want to be with him, but it isn’t even really about him.  It’s about bonding.  It’s about connecting.  It’s this desire that we have to bond with Mom, Dad, siblings, core family, friends, Higher Power, God. Then we have these intense interpersonal bonds and when they’re broken, it feels like there’s a piece of us that just fell out.  Where is it?  Where did it go?  And we think that‘s him.


3   I canít stop thinking about him

I can’t stop thinking about him.  Well, him simply represents that piece that you think left you.  Nothing left, you were actually fine before you ever met.  That’s one of the things that always cracks me up about marriage counseling or sometimes even the painful process of parents who have lost a child.  Is that person that lost a husband or a wife or the parent of that lost child?


4   They were actually ok with who they were before...

They were actually ok with who they were before that spouse came into their life, or before he child came into their life.  They were a whole person, so what happens?  Will we create attachments and we actually transfer a part of ourself unknowingly in and unwise fashion to the other person.  We give ourselves to the other person and then when they leave or when they die, it’s like they took a part of us with them, but that actually doesn’t really happen.  That’s just what we’re telling ourselves up here.  I’m whole complete and I lack for nothing, and that's also true for you but that's a story that you have to begin writing for yourself and making that your reality. That is so much my reality because I teach it every day.  I say it to myself no less than a hundred times a day.  I'm whole.  I'm complete.  I lack for nothing.   There is nothing outside of me that  is going to complete me.  I'm already whole and complete.


5   So if you want to stop thinking about him

So if you want to stop thinking about him, and you want to stop loving him, the way to do that is to love yourself. Everything comes back to that. We love ourselves through knowing that we're part of the Divine Creation, that we're on the planet for a specific reason, and every one of us are going through life’s lessons and they're for us.  This is a great place to be. I'm glad to be a part of your life. I invite you to be a part of mine. Let's help you get out of this place. I can't stop loving you,  hahaha. actually, I can and it's not that hard.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 4:13:00 PM

Why do I Date a Narcissist?

Hello, Dr. Jeffrey Smith sitting on the answers couch this afternoon.   I'm going to try to answer a really difficult question. “Why do I date a narcissist?”

Answer is:

1   That's a pretty popular question on the web I'm told,

That's a pretty popular question on the web I'm told, and it's a really, really deep question.  Narcissists are hurting people first and foremost.  They will one-up you. If you tell a story at this level, they'll say, “Oh I've done that too but I did it here.” They’ll always try to get a little bit of a one-up and direct the spotlight back to themselves.   They' have to have attention. They've got to be in the spotlight.  And it's a façade, this

Persona that they emulate, or create, there's no depth behind it.


2   It's actually pretty sad when you open up...

It's actually pretty sad when you open up and you get them to open up and they reveal that this whole big façade, you know facade is that structure on a store that shows that the roof actually looks this tall but the buildings actually only this tall. You see that are all kinds of construction sites so if you're attracting this type of person to you at some level and this would not be conscious, and doing this right now because the conscious mind is just a teeny part our best consciousness. 


3   Researchers would say, maybe as small as 5%

Researchers would say, maybe as small as 5%, so that would be remainder of 95% that we can't directly access and talk to, but it's constantly sending signals up, and belief systems up. Belief system like this is all I deserve or this is normal or even as Dr. Freud may say a compulsion repetition that would mean, I'm compelled to repeat this same dance, because it's my normal. And all kinds of endorphins and inkephalins and neurotransmitters and hormones and enzymes are going to flood my brain because this is my normal.  And part of my normal includes this drama, and I'm addicted to the drama.


4   It's exhausting, but this is my life...

It's exhausting, but this is my life until I'm willing to change it.  So, the same type of person will continue to show up in your life until you change, and that's actually good news in my opinion. That's why they're showing up.  That's why it isn't working out so that you will change.  They're bringing you a gift of drama and if you open it up and say, “I don't want any more of this stop bringing it to me!” it's actually you inviting it into your life until one day you don't, and perhaps that could be today. 


5   So find a therapist. Give me a call.

So find a therapist. Give me a call. I’ll be happy to help you break that cycle, to increase what you believe you deserve, to raise it up a level and to begin to operate in an authentic way that you're not the façade.  That you're not subconsciously transmitting this information out into the universe that other people are resonating with, and then they're just answering the call you're sending this.  They go out there answering the call and you get together and until you break that cycle, by you becoming a whole person, this will continue.  So I hope this video has been helpful and hope we've answered the question.

I look forward to hearing from you!
Dr. Jeff Smith






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 4:13:00 PM

What do my Dreams Mean?

Hello, Dr. Jeffrey Smith here today. I want to talk about what do my dreams mean? Such a fascinating topic.

Answer is:

1   I want to talk about what do my dreams mean?

I want to talk about what do my dreams mean? Such a fascinating topic.  If there are two topics that I can teach people this is the number two.  Most important topic, number one, is how to sleep better.  Number two is what do my dreams mean? Isn't it interesting that number one and number two both have to do with sleep.  Well we spend thirty percent of our time our entire life, a third of it, is spent asleep. Of that, say in a given eight nine hour night sleep, you're going to be dreaming about 45 minutes of that time. 


2   Our sleep cycles last about an hour and a half

Our sleep cycles last about an hour and a half and each time we're dreaming about five to seven minutes. Sometimes it feels like you've had the same dream all night long. That's a kind of a rare dream, but those do happen and typically those dreams might show up once a year.  Maybe there we call those dream things, but just to kind of give you an overview of how we do dream distillation or dream analysis, we look at it this way: Who are the men in the dream? Who are the women in the dream?  What are the man-made objects in the dream?  And what aspects of nature are in the dream?


3   So you've got those four elements

So you've got those four elements, and oh by the way you play all the characters in the dream! They're your masculine energy and your feminine energy.  Those are the men and women.  The man-made objects are all the parts of the mind that have to do with authority and lastly the nature part is your spiritual piece of the mind.  A masculine peace of the mind, feminine piece of the mind, authoritarian peace of the mind and spiritual peace of the mind, and all of our dreams sometimes incorporate all four aspects but oftentimes there's a challenge in the dream or there is a conflict in the dream.

And the dream is about conflict resolution: between man and woman, between man and authority figure, or between man and some kind of a spiritual conflict that's going on.  So really you have to plug your dream into this category and then figure out where the conflict is. Then ask yourself consciously luring it up into the conscious mind and say what conflicts do I have right now with Authority?  So, these are teachers, parents, doctors, lawyers anybody in a position of authority or God. Anything that you believe is a rule, a belief system, a law, an expectation that you have of yourself that's generally where most of the conflicts are in our dreams. There's some aspect of authority that we're not syncing up with, and that's going to show up over and over and over and over and over again in your life until you learn how to resolve that, and bringing that the conscious mind.


4   Thereís some great books on dream distillation

There’s some great books on dream distillation and dream interpretation, but one thing that I can tell you with absolute certainty having studied this for years is it's never about the content of the dream.  The specifics of the dream is you'll always go wrong if it's like hey I was in a car last night and I went off of a cliff what's that about? Well it isn't about you're going to drive a car off of a cliff, or it isn't about I watched a movie last night that had a theme of a car going off of a cliff, that's just the mind using filler material or B footage to make this dream.  The conflict is about you and a man-made object that is wrecking your life.  It's about the theme, not about the literal part of the dream.  So, that's another really important aspect.  Ask yourself what is the theme of the dream and what's the solution to the conflict? Once you put it in that formula, you'll be able to answer the question what are my dreams about?   It’s resolving the conflict.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 4:18:00 PM

It Seems Like there is Something Missing in My Life What is that?

Hello, I'm Dr. Jeffrey Smith.  The question is, it seems like there's something missing in my life.  What is that? 

Answer is:

1   Well it's not some thing.

Well it's not some thing. There is no thing, missing.  It will never come, if it means satisfaction, if it means peace, purpose.  Those are inner aspects of our life.  Nothing can come from outside, nothing external, no event, no accomplishment, no possession, the relationship, not one thing external to you will ever fill the void of that missing experience that you're searching for right now. 


2   You found me because you're searching for that missing thing. †

You found me because you're searching for that missing thing.   What's missing? So truly, just get right to the point, what's missing is you loving yourself.  What's missing is the moment by moment.  I am so happy to be on this planet, at this time in history, taking each step each step is a miracle.  The fact that you're here on the planet, some mathematicians say is one in 800 billion that you're even here.


3   If we lived in that moment by moment by moment

If we lived in that moment by moment by moment whether you're sitting in the dentist's chair getting your tooth drilled, or you're going Ahhh, that's you being here on the planet, having an experience that you can't have when you're not in a body. So, if you can accept the fact that I'm in this body.  I'm having this experience. It is a miracle. That's the missing piece, learning how to do that. Variety of different paths, the path you want to find is one that’s right for you.

There's a lot of different therapists there is a lot of different self-help books out answering that question the answers on the inside, not the outside. 
Thanks for watching!






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
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Updated 10/15/2019 4:22:00 PM

Explaining Coherence Balanced Awareness

Over the years I've found it very beneficial to spend a moment in the beginning of therapy talking about what

Coherence is. Most people are familiar with incoherence, and we think of people who are under the influence of the substance, they're slurring their speech, they have uncoordinated muscle movements. 

Answer is:

1   The coherence is actually a state of mind and...

The coherence is actually a state of mind and body that we're trying to achieve. This simple explanation is a place I love to start in the beginning of helping people move through to get to another level in their life. I'm really talking about what coherence is.  I'm going to abbreviate. It's just a balanced awareness of four things that we're always doing.  You can't

disagree with this, or if you try to you'll quickly realize that it's silly because we're always thinking something, and those thoughts are either going to be positive or negative.  In turn, those thoughts are going to create feelings or emotions, I put them synonymously, and those are going to be positive or negative so generally a positive feeling.  Our thought is going to create a positive feeling.


2   Then we move down to the body...

Then we move down to the body that's going to show up in the body the thinking and the feeling.  That’s going to show up in the body as either positive or negative.  You're going to have a headache, tension in the neck, backache, your heart, it's going to be beating fast or slow or other things all copacetic.

And then lastly, the fourth ingredient is the environment.


3   Is your environment drawing you to it?

Is your environment drawing you to it? Is your environment pushing you away? So that can be positive or negative. High coherence isn't always in a state of bliss or a state of euphoria. High coherence could be a very negative situation, but you're aware of that because you're in a negative situation, my thinking is, I'm feeling alarmed right now.  I'm thinking there's a state of emergency.  That's going to create a sense or a feeling of being alarmed inside your system.  The body's, going to feel it, and of course your environment around you is going to indicate that as well.


4   The bottom line is, it's negative thinking

The bottom line is, it's negative thinking, negative feeling, negative body experience, negative environment, but that's still a high state of coherence, which means you won't be the one eaten by the tiger.  You'll be the one getting out of the building. So emergency responders learn how to be in high coherence in a negative environment, in a negative place for most other people would panic and fall apart. So whether you're in a high state of coherence positively or negatively is a really important aspect to learn about you, so that you can do better in your life and enjoy it more.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
Website | Email | More Details
Updated 10/15/2019 4:26:00 PM

Your Relationship is in Trouble... What do I do?

Hello Dr. Jeffrey Smith here.  You're watching this video because the relationship is in trouble.

Answer is:

1   Ahhh!† Many relationships you've been in and out of...

Ahhh!  Many relationships you've been in and out of.  This one, bang, bang, bang or backs turned toward each other and going in separate directions. 


2   I want to help you.†

I want to help you.  Good news is I can help you!   Let's take advantage of the twenty-five years of information and experience that I can help get out of my head into yours, that we can integrate that into the heart, that you could have a heartfelt experience of oneness, a unity of togetherness, to take to your relationship to the next level.


3   You're going to need some coaching.

You're going to need some coaching.   I'm happy to help provide that.  I really enjoy working with people who are

motivated and know that the time is now, to get themselves to where they haven't been able to up to now.  So give me a call, let's get going on this.

 

Thanks for watching.






Answer is:


Answered by: Dr Jeffrey Smith
Strategic Counseling
Website | Email | More Details
Updated 10/15/2019 4:28:00 PM

Iím Having a Panic Attack What do I do?

Hello, Dr.  Jeffrey Smith here from Strategic Counseling.  I would like to talk with you today about how I treat panic attacks and generalized anxiety disorder.

Answer is:

1   I would like to talk with you today about how I treat panic attacks...

I would like to talk with you today about how I treat panic attacks and generalized anxiety disorder.  There's an opportunity for you to stop having these panic attacks and not use medications or continue going to the emergency room because you think you're having a heart attack. I know it feels real.  Your body's telling you there really is a problem. You know you've been told, your cardiologist or the emergency room doctor has told you, this is in your mind. 


2   Go see a specialist who can help you with that...

Go see a specialist who can help you with that.  That's me!  So through a practice and application of mindfulness techniques, resolving past traumas from childhood that are locked deep down in the subconscious unconscious mind.  We're going to bring those up into consciousness, get them connected to now, living in the moment today.


3   You have so many more resources available...

You have so many more resources available to you today than you had when you were a child. In the mind, the strategy to solving problems is still linked up with the capabilities you had when you were a kid, and that's why the problem doesn't go away today.  It is because the mind is still trying to solve it the way that it did when you were having problems as a kid, whether you even thought you were having problems or not. 

  • If steps are need.. change the bullets in the order the need to be. 1
  • If steps are need.. change the bullets in the order the need to be. 2
  • If steps are need.. change the bullets in the order the need to be. 3
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    4   The reality is we live in a scary world...

    The reality is we live in a scary world, at least that's what the subconscious unconscious mind believes.  And in working with me, we can bring that up into consciousness so that you can actually see that this is a friendly enough world that we can have a meaningful experience here and enjoy our life moment by moment.

    So give me a call and let's get this in your past so that it doesn't have to be a part of your future. 

    Thank you for watching you.







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