What Is A Spoonie?

Hi, I'm Kelly “Nerdzilla” Mendenhall. I'm a Spoonie, Author, Writer, Coach, and activist fighting against Medical Gaslighting and the implicit bias against women reporting pain. I help other magical unicorns, such as myself, build lifestyles and careers that honor their minds, bodies, and spirits' unique needs and limitations.

I'm here today to answer the question: What is a Spoonie?

Answer is:

1   Spoonies are a global community of people living with chronic pain, autoimmune diseases, mental health diagnoses, and anything we might say is an invisible illness.

We self-identify as Spoonies because of the Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino, and I am probably butchering her name.  In short, the Spoon Theory is a way to demonstrate how much energy it takes for a neuro-typical or non-disabled person to do everyday tasks, versus the energy it takes for a disabled or neuro-divergent person to do the same things.

Getting up and getting dressed for work probably isn't something most people think about as being physically taxing or complicated, but for

Spoonies like me, it absolutely can be. Same with things like showering, cooking meals, visiting with friends and loved ones, or just driving ourselves to appointments. A comfortable workday to a non-disabled person may be torture for a Spoonie.

For example, I haven't been able to sit upright for more than 2-3 hours a day for the past 3.5 years. That pretty much rules out any typical or traditional work! So, I've had to reinvent myself and my professional life and earn money from home... mostly while lying down!

I don't see being a Spoonie as a disadvantage, though. I see it as my Superpower. I am a kinder, more compassionate, and empathetic person because of my physical and psychological disabilities.

You can learn more about me, my coaching programs, my book, and my blog by heading over to www.nerdzillakelly.com. Do me a favor and subscribe to this channel! I'll be back soon with more FAQs and product reviews! Stay tuned!

What Is Medical Gaslighting?

Hi, I'm Kelly "Nerdzilla" Mendenhall. I'm a Spoonie, Author, Writer, Coach, and activist fighting against Medical Gaslighting and the implicit bias against women reporting pain. I help other magical unicorns, such as myself, build lifestyles and careers that honor their minds, bodies, and spirits' unique needs and limitations.

I’m here today to answer the question: What is Medical Gaslighting?

Answer is:

1   If gaslighting in relationships is manipulating someone into questioning their sanity, Medical Gaslighting manipulates a patient into thinking that they are exaggerating their condition. Medical Gaslighting causes a patient more and prolonged pain, putting their well-being or even their life at risk.

Both anecdotal and legal studies suggest that the mistreatment and neglect of female patients reporting pain to medical professionals is not the exception, but the rule. There is an implicit bias against women reporting pain and other chronic symptoms related to invisible illnesses.

Unfortunately, this bias really is a tale as old as time. The word Uterus is rooted in the ancient Greek word, utera, meaning "hysteria." That means that for thousands of years, medical professionals and society, in general, have equated having a uterus with being overly emotional and hysterical.

Medical Gaslighting affects women more often than men, but women of color have it even worse than Caucasians. I know, shocker.

I experienced Medical Gaslighting for more than 3.5 years while trying to find all my health and wellness puzzle pieces. As a result, I nearly lost the use of my legs permanently, among other things. I'm even writing a book about Medical Gaslighting and creating an accompanying podcast. Both are called The Medical Gaslighting Project. I plan to release both in the first quarter of 2021.

To learn more about me and my work to stop Medical Gaslighting, check out www.nerdzillakelly.com.

Thanks for watching! And don't forget to subscribe now. I'll see you next time.

How To Deal With Gaslighting

Hi, I'm Kelly "Nerdzilla" Mendenhall. I'm a Spoonie, Author, Writer, Coach, and activist fighting against Medical Gaslighting and the implicit bias against women reporting pain.

I'm here today to answer the question: How to deal with gaslighting. In this case, how to deal with medical gaslighting.

Answer is:

1  

Remember: If gaslighting in relationships is manipulating someone into questioning their sanity, Medical Gaslighting manipulates a patient into thinking that they are exaggerating their condition. Medical Gaslighting causes a patient more and prolonged pain, putting their well-being or even their life at risk.

Can Chronic Pain Go Away?

Hey, what's up? I'm Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall, author, speaker, writer, coach, and
activist fighting against medical gaslighting.

Today I am here to answer the question: Can chronic pain go away?

Answer is:

1   I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but: The answer is

that chronic pain can't go away. Not completely.

Chronic pain can become better managed and treated so that the patient has the best
quality of life possible. The patient should attack it from all angles: Diet, appropriate
exercise, medications, sometimes even psychiatric care -- these things can all impact
your chronic pain.

Personally, I follow what I refer to as the dumbed-down version of the anti-inflammatory
diet. I walk and do cardio by myself, 4-5 days per week. I work with a rehabilitative
personal trainer twice a week. I see a psychiatrist that specializes in trauma and chronic
pain patients, of which I am both. I have weekly trauma therapy sessions. I have a
spinal cord stimulator implant, and I've had two spinal fusion surgeries and two
abdominal surgeries. Honestly, I should have my own wing at the hospital by now, but
whatevs.

I've even had an energy healing session recently.
I know! I was surprised too!
I used to be like, "That shit is woo-woo." And now I'm like, "Maybe I like woo-woo. Let's
give it a shot." I mean, my pain is forever, so what do I have to lose by trying as many
things as possible to control and manage that pain?

Take it from me: There is life with chronic pain and illness. That shit is not the end of
your story! YOU are the hero of your own story, and everybody loves a hero.

So, don't just accept doom and hopelessness. Try everything you can think of, do some
research, and try some more. But always be kind to yourself and your body.

Always operate within the unique needs and limitations of your body and spirit. And
never, ever, ever, let someone else tell you how your story goes.

That's it, for now, friends, stay tuned for more Spoonie FAQs and product reviews.
Nerdzilla, out.

Is Chronic Pain A Disability?

Answer is:

1   Hey, what's up? I'm Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall, author, speaker, writer, coach, and activist fighting against medical gaslighting. Today I am here to answer the question: Is chronic pain a disability?

The answer is that chronic pain can be a disability.

I'm no lawyer, so consult a lawyer to be sure you know your rights, but here's what I know to be true.

If your chronic pain interrupts your ability to do regular-ass, regular-person shit like getting dressed, showering, and bathing regularly. If you can't make it through a work-day without tears from the pain. If attending family functions without leaving in debilitating pain is a thing for you. Your pain is DISABLING YOU and is a DISABILITY.

You don't have to feel like you aren't disabled because people say, "Well, you look fine." That's ableist as hell. One of my favorite things people say to me is, "So are you better yet?" No, bruh, I am NOT better yet. CHRONIC MEANS FOREVER. I have a longer-term relationship with pain than I have ever had with a romantic partner, so let that sink in.

I digress.

If you regularly miss more than 4 days a month of work because of your pain, you are likely considered disabled. Suppose you lose your job because you are physically unable to perform your work duties as laid out in the job description. You may qualify you as disabled.

If I am describing your life circumstances, and this kind of pain has existed for more than 6-12 months, you're probably disabled. 

If your pain makes you feel hopeless, helpless, or you have suicidal ideations, you're probably disabled.

I know these things to be true because these are all circumstances I have personally experienced. And I've talked to literally hundreds, maybe even thousands of others at this point, who have experienced the same.

Talk to your doctor about whether you should be certified as disabled. Talk to your HR rep about the Family Medical Leave Act and how it protects you against termination due to chronic pain and illness.

That's it, for now, friends, stay tuned for more Spoonie FAQs and product reviews. Nerdzilla, out.

Is Your Doctor Gaslighting You?

Answer is:

1   Hey, what's up? I'm Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall, author, speaker, writer, coach, and activist fighting against medical gaslighting. Today I am here to answer the question: Is Your Doctor Gaslighting You?

Get ready, because I'm about to be sassy.

The answer is that it IS possible that your doctor is gaslighting you. It's not always the case. Allow me to elaborate.

When a doctor gaslights you, it's called Medical Gaslighting. Check out some of my other videos for a definition of that term.

Listen, here's what you need to know. All professions have B and C students. Doctors are no exception. Sometimes doctors aren't at their A-game if you know what I'm saying. Or, they aren't familiar with rare diseases, don't have many patients with autoimmune disorders, etc. Sometimes, doctors make innocent mistakes that may or may not be related to their cognitive prowess. That's not gaslighting. That's being human.

Sometimes, doctors are gaslighting you. For instance, suppose that you tell a specialist that you are experiencing symptoms such as delayed urination, numbness in your extremities, and increased pain after he performs a procedure on your spine. If he tells you, "your bladder has nothing to do with your spine, you need to see a urologist, that's not my problem." ...That might not be the best example because that makes him an idiot and a gaslighter.

Let's try this:

I went to see an OB-GYN in February 2018 and told him that my menstrual cycles were debilitating for years. They would cause my back to spasm to the point that I would be rendered immobile. I had breakthrough periods, random spotting, blood in my urine, and things were only getting worse as I got older. I also had rapid weight gain and bloating. 

He told me that I was fat. He said that my birth control could "only do so much." He said that if I were going to continue being obese, I would keep having the same problems. When I pointed out to him that at that time, I was on 3600mg of gabapentin a day -- a drug known to cause weight gain -- and hadn't been able to walk independently for ten months... he said, "your weight is about 80% what you eat, so you need to change that. And if you're not going to have kids, your cycles will get more painful as you age."

THAT IS MEDICAL GASLIGHTING. 

He's also an asshole. And a Maternalist.

But that's some serious gaslighting.

Flash forward to September 2020 when a female OB-GYN treated my symptoms incredibly seriously, and ultimately we discovered that I had severe endometriosis, a uterine tumor, polyps in my uterus, and a heart-shaped uterus. Aren't I fun?! My body is so extra.

So yes, your doctor might be gaslighting you. And if they are, you need to fire them and find a new doctor. And keep doing that until you meet a competent and compassionate caregiver for whatever is ailing you.

That's it, for now, friends, stay tuned for more Spoonie FAQs and product reviews. Nerdzilla, out.